Jean's Family Stories: 1988 - DENA'S LAST DIARY

DENA’S DIARY FROM 1988

This diary was kept just 10 years beyond the death of her husband,

M.E.J. Plucker

After typing out every word of this diary, I am happy that our mother had a full and (seemingly) happy life in her 85^th year. Had it not been for the Senior Citizen Center, her friends, Dots & Eddie and the church, she would have been quite lonely. I am happy about this because in the last 10 years of her life (she lived until only two months shy of her 100^th birthday), she seemed quite unhappy. By the time my sister and I made the decision to move her into a nursing home situation, in May of 1996, she knew only that she needed to be home! And “Hilda’s Heritage” was not home.

Jean, Aunt Alma, Dena, Dots
(Uncle Charles took the picture)

As a “diary writer” Dena didn’t excel. She, like her husband and mother-in-law, was very sparse with her feelings – and even in this private tome, she could not put into words how she really felt. An example is: on July 11, “Alma came to visit about two in the afternoon and stayed until almost five. It was a long afternoon.” [A long afternoon was putting a very good face on it! Our Aunt Alma could be quite a formidable personality.] Again when she went to a musical program, she usually said, “It was good.” But when Bob sang a solo at Faith Church, she said, “It was very good.” [That is the most she ever said about any “presentation.”]

I kept thinking that I would find a wonderful gem within these pages, telling me something about her feelings, her life, her marriage, her children or her grandchildren. But it was only the facts. No embellishment. Once, she went to get her hair done at Ruby’s. Her comment, “My hair is getting so thin. I don’t know why.” Also, in February, she went to a Dr. to see about her thumb, but he didn’t help her. She said, “It doesn’t help and I don’t think I’ll go back. Seems to me I paid him $32 for nothing. I may make an appointment with Scot Rogers.” [I’m thinking that she had a touch of carpel tunnel syndrome from doing so much quilting at the Center!]

On January 25^th, she did say that she “listened [probably saw on TV] to the President’s speech this eve. I think he is trying his best to do the right thing for our country.” [It must have been Ronald Reagan’s last State of the Union Address.]

On January 31^st, she wrote, “Very cold – went to (Faith) church on the bus. Had our annual business meeting right after church. We should not have had it at that time. The meeting did not go well. Some of the people were very angry and walked out. [Oh, the powerlessness of being 85 years old. She just had to watch it happen.]

So many of her entries were about the weather. It was a cold winter that year and a hot and dry summer. In February, she writes, “Dots & Eddie started out for Germantown but turned around after they found out how the roads were. They came to Faith Church instead. I was glad they came.” [She never would have mentioned the fact that she had actually been “asked” (putting it politely) to leave Germantown church for suggesting that they postpone their vote to split from the Presbyterian Church USA. So, she went to Lennox with the folks who wanted to remain with the Presbyterian Church USA.] Dots & Eddie, on the other hand, felt that their place was to remain with the church family that had been theirs from birth, not happy with the decisions made, but nonetheless, in their refusal to leave, they were determined to stay with the Germantown folks.

A comment about how times change: “Changed bedding on my bed and now washing a load. How much easier at 85 years old then it was when I was 25, why the difference? The washing machines!”

In March – “I made a date with Dots & VeraJean to take both couples out for dinner in Sioux Falls at the Royal Fork. They do so many nice things for me.” [Merlin (Eddie’s brother) and VeraJean worked the farm land for her and Dots & Eddie gave an unbelievable amount of time and effort to her – willingly and with no complaint. They were greatly appreciated by Bob & I who lived many, many miles away and were not able to help out on a daily basis.]

On May 6^th, she asks herself, “How am I going to get muffins baked by 7:00 tomorrow morn? Breakfast Brunch starting at 7:30.” But everything was fine because on the 7^th she says, “I did get them made & then picked up a doz doughnuts at the bakery ...” It was a huge day for her because she couldn’t stay to help clean up since she was going along with Dots & Eddie to Faye & Duane’s for Mother’s Day. She tells about going to church with them in Marshalltown, how hard it was raining and when it stopped, but no impressions of Faye’s life, her grandchildren or their church. Just this: “Got home at 8:30. Had a good day.”

She was on the Executive Board for the Senior Center, so she had responsibilities and she took them very seriously. Never missed a meeting that I know of. She was always “johnny-on-the-spot” for baking, serving or cleaning up after some big shindig.

In May, she was making a big decision: “Bob called shortly before I left for church. Its always so good to talk to him. They will come in June. Will I go back with them? It would be fun but I don’t know, I am surely beginning to feel my age and it might not be wise. I am 85 years old and I don’t want to be a burden.” [Of all the comments she made, that is surely the most personal.]

On June 4^th, she wrote, “It would have been our 64^th wedding anniversary. It is Dorothy June’s 62^nd birthday. She has always been such a dear precious girl.” [Another comment showing her deep feelings for her eldest. It is a joy to read this and share it.]

Dena & Gertrude Straatmeyer.
They were 2nd cousins and played cards together
with other friends.

The last part of June the temperatures were really heating up, but what does our mother do? “Baked 2 cherry pies and one rhubarb pie also baked four loaves of dark bread, raisin bread. Will freeze them for later use.” She was always baking, baking, baking. She would take her friends a piece of pie or some biscuits and they would have coffee. I suppose when she quit doing that she lost an enormous part of her life. I have so many questions about how that happened.

For six days in June, Bob & Margaret drove down from Washington to help paint her house. The two of them, with lots of help from Dots & Eddie as well as Dena, pretty much got the job done. However, Dena was the one who painted all the screens and storm windows, one after the other until they were all done. And she dealt with the trim color – returning her first choice and going with what was there before ([typical of us Plucker women].

The rest of the summer was spent working at the Center, going to church, quilting, eating out with her friends and of course, with Dots & Eddie. All this time, everyone was waiting- somewhat impatiently – for rain. It didn’t rain in Lennox until the 3^rd of August and then, only a little.

On July 24^th Uncle Art (Dena’s brother) passed away. She says only, “Had a call from Eileen, Art is not very well, had a stroke last Tuesday & is in the Hospital now. Brother Art passed away at 1:00 this morning. The funeral will be Wed. July 27^th.” [This would have been an opportunity for her to share her feelings for her brother and her family.]

She was the fifth child born to Eilert & Minnie who had their first baby on July 16, 1898. After that, the twins (Harm & Jerry) were born on August 13, 1899. William was born in 1900, on October 14^th and on October 29, 1902, Dena came into the world. Art was born two years later and the last six children were born in 1904, 1906, 1908, 1910, 1913, 1915 and 1917. There were two girls among these eleven. One can only imagine the close-knit family bustle and commotion.

Dena kept up her diary until August 17^th, the end of the Republican National Convention, where she noted that Bush & Quayle were the nominees.

There is no indication why she didn’t continue writing to the end of the year in 1988. No other diaries were found.